We're like a lot better than the average bears
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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