i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
