i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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