My brain says no but my pants say off.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
