I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
