3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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