Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
