how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
