The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
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