Just fell off a train. Bad.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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