OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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