these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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