was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
