So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
