I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
