As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
