I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
