ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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