She is in my trunk
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
