I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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