Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
