Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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