Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
