He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
