the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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