3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
