Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
