I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
