is your mom at the bar?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
