I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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