new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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