I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
