Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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