did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
