My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
