Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
