here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He kissed a someone with a penis
home. puking in laundry basket.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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