i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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