My hand turned me down
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
