In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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