I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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