If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
