How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
