dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
