She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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