We won't sleep together?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
