dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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