Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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