Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
