You really coming over, don't trick.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
