People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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